


The Woman with Stars in her Eyes

by HelgaHeason



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Background Tenrose, Background Yowzah, Character Study, Multi, Songfic, Thirteen needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 05:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16907094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelgaHeason/pseuds/HelgaHeason
Summary: A character study into the Doctor, and who Thirteen has been shaped to be thanks to her predecessors.





	The Woman with Stars in her Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to challenge myself with this fic - so I chose a song, and used each line of it as a prompt for a mini-fic.  
> I then combined all of the mini-fics to create a character study-esque oneshot.
> 
> Just an fyi, each lyric corresponds to the paragraph below it, and each paragraph is a different episode.  
> I think I covered 13 different episodes - 13 episodes for the 13th Doctor!

**_Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep_**  
Thirteen stood by the pews, fighting back tears. She'd befriended three lovely humans, at the cost of the eldest human's wife's death. She bowed her head upon hearing her eldest companion's speech, and slowly let the tears fall. She'd be lucky if she didn't lose sleep over this. She always lost sleep over someone's death, no matter how bad or irrelevant the person. She'd gotten insomnia over the Master's death, which had only just gone away. Clara, too, caused sleepless nights. It was just her curse, to lose sleep over death, even though it followed her like a shadow.  
**_Dreamin' about the things that we could be_**  
T'zim-Sha grinned at her, his own teeth showing, even through the various human teeth imbedded in his face. He asked her just who the hell she was to stop him, and now it was her turn to grin. It was a name that could slay titans, fell gods, topple empires - a name that could cause, and end, wars. And the best part? It wasn't even a name. Thirteen knew exactly who she was, but she didn't know who she wanted to be. A Time Lord could dream, though, right? She thought for a few moments. She wanted to be good, be kind, and never be cruel, nor cowardly. She wanted to mean hope, kindness, and be a shining beacon of hope to all who were lost. Yeah, she could dream.  
**_And baby, I've been, not been prayin' hard_**  
The Pope placed a gentle hand on Twelve's shoulder, but even though he was doing his best to hide it, Twelve could still feel the tension rolling off him in waves. Although, Twelve supposed, he'd feel the same way if all of his subordinates started mysteriously committing suicide after reading a book. Was the Pope praying for him? Did the Pope do that? Twelve didn't, but then again, he had no reason to. The only gods he'd ever met were imposters, were fakes, were alien beings pretending to be gods. Twelve shrugged. He didn't need someone to pray for his soul. He'd been lost a long time ago.  
**_Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars_**  
Twelve gasped as the (metaphorical) penny dropped. They were charging people for their breaths, and if they breathed even once over the limit, they'd be disposed of and turned into walking zombies, serving the station for all eternity. Capitalism in space - a worse enemy than the Daleks. Because, while the Daleks were bad, they just killed instantly, whereas this was exploiting the dead bodies of humans. He turned and looked out of the space station's window. How many had died, serving the station suspended in the stars? How many had died, hoping to one day live among the stars? He shook his head, and got back to work.  
**_Yeah, we'll be countin'_**  
Ten just looked horrified as the death count in Pompeii rose. He couldn't do anything to appease the volcano, but he could take out the Pyroviles - if he snapped out of his horrified trance. Donna snapped her fingers in front of him, and he blinked a few times, before pulling a water pistol out of his suit. Sometimes he really amazed Donna. Ten made sure to count the Pyroviles that he took out, like they were counting the humans they converted or killed. Justice, he thought, was best served Doctor - a temperature so fiery that it could melt metal.  
**_Stars_**  
Rose stood in the observation deck, watching the sun inch ever-closer to Earth. The stars twinkled at her, winking in despair and sympathy. They had no idea what it was like for her, but they'd seen the meteor destroy the dinosaurs, so they must've had some idea, Rose mused. Nine ran back into the room, with the tickets they were required to have to stay onboard the ship, and walked over to the window. Rose felt a little more at ease, knowing she wasn't the only one to witness her own planet's death.  
**_I see this life, like a swingin' vine_**  
Ten held his arms out, and yelled at Donna to jump. She had the Racnoss' web. She'd be alright. Those webs were tougher than normal spider webs, and Ten had been trapped in a fair few in his life. Donna jumped, holding onto the web, and for one perfect moment, Ten saw a brilliant re-enactment of Tarzan. That abruptly came to an end when Donna crashed into the balcony below him, and fell to the floor. Ten sighed. No matter how hard he tried, he could never get the hang of it. Good job he wasn't actually Tarzan, or he'd be done for.  
**_Swing my heart across the line_**  
Twelve held his hand out to the young boy, who'd been trapped by hand mines mere seconds earlier. Twelve knew the boy well, like he was his old friend. He knew what saving the boy's life would create, what monsters would come out of the boy's mind and destroy his planet. But he didn't care. He had a duty of care, and he had a promise, an oath, to uphold. Maybe saving the boy would change his past, present and future. Maybe saving the boy would destroy and erase all mention of the monsters from history. Or maybe it wouldn't, and Twelve was doomed to see the monsters forevermore. Either way, he couldn't just let the young boy die. That wasn't who he was.  
**_And in my face is flashin' signs_**  
The woman took her helmet off, and smiled at Ten. She said her name was Professor River Song, but that didn't ring any bells to him. A professor of what? Of archaeology? What was a professor of archaeology doing in a space library? And, more importantly, why was she staring at him like she knew him? River's face softened in sadness. Ten didn't recognise her. She should've known. His unknowing eyes set off warning bells, red lights, and yet she still had some hope that maybe, just maybe, her Doctor was there. He wasn't. But they could still solve the mystery of the library, whether they be lovers or strangers.  
**_Seek it out, and ye shall find_**  
Thirteen and the Golden Trio all legged it outside of the tent, to where the fabled 'ghost monument' was supposed to appear. The shining beacon of hope and light in an infinitely dark universe. For a few horrendous moments, Thirteen thought that she'd failed, that her newfound Golden Trio would be left to die on Desolation. A single tear fell down her face, stars twinkling in her new hazel irises. But then, oh and then, the TARDIS finally materialised. Thirteen smiled. Her beautiful ghost monument. She'd searched the whole damn planet, and now she'd finally received her prize. Her home, her constant companion, her lifelong best friend, was finally where she belonged. The tears that fell down Thirteen's cheeks as she saw the TARDIS' new interior were of joy, and of hope. Thirteen, the Doctor, in the TARDIS... Next stop, everywhere.  
**_Old, but I'm not that old_**  
Just how long had Twelve spent in that castle, dying and being reborn again and again and again, confessing his darkest secrets and very nearly giving in to the Veil more times than he cared count? How long had he spent in that castle, terrified and alone? How long had he spent wanting the pain to stop? He hadn't spent any time in there at all, not really. It was Time Lord technology, and it could freeze the general sense of time (which was in itself merely an idea). No-one would truly know how painful it had been in that castle. Twelve was determined to make sure of that.  
**_Young, but I'm not that bold_**  
Rose quivered a little next to Mickey. She looked like he was going to say something, speak out against the Daleks, or the Cybermen. But she was too afraid to do so. If Ten's wrath was deadly, then his enemies' wrath must surely be worse. Rose was a rebellious person by nature - but even she wouldn't put her life on the line trying to get answers. Not from the Daleks. Not from the Cybermen. She would, however, answer their questions, and bask in the stifled tension of the air when the two warring parties realised just who they were dealing with. Vengeance was sweet, she thought, and even sweeter if you were associated with the Doctor.  
**_And I don't think the world is sold_** Twelve bent down next to the little 'emojibots', as Bill had dubbed them, and paused. What should he say to them? Sooner or later, they'd think that sadness was deadly again, but for now, they seemed happy enough. How could he ensure that they'd get along with their human masters? Unless, he made them the masters, and the humans the subordinates? That tended to work quite well. He paused again. Was he sure about any of this? Then he smiled. Hell yeah he was. He turned to the emojibot, and asked about rent. The little bot's eyes turned to dollar sign emojis, and Twelve grinned. Talk about easy business.  
**_I'm just doin' what we're told_**  
With a sharp look at Graham, Thirteen forced herself to stay sat down, to not get up, and to let history restore itself. It was hard, it was so hard, but it would ultimately save so many lives, and make so many others so much easier. She ignored her complaining companion, and focused on the woman they were there to help. Thirteen wanted to protest, to shout, to speak up, this was so unfair - but she couldn't. She was powerless to history, to the time-space continuum.  
"Are you goin' to stand up?"  
Thirteen inhaled sharply.  
"No."  
And didn't exhale until quite a time later. History was safe. But she wasn't quite sure that she was happy about that. It was so unjust, unfair, and no-one should have to suffer like that - but the woman's actions had changed the world. And that was something that Thirteen just couldn't interfere with, no matter how unjust the situation was.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're confused as to which each episode each paragraph is, here they are in order:  
> \- The Woman Who Fell to Earth (S11E1)  
> \- The Woman Who Fell to Earth (again)  
> \- Extremis (S10E6) [part 2 of the 'Monks Trilogy']  
> \- Oxygen (S10E5)  
> \- The Fires of Pompeii (S4E2)  
> \- The End of the World (S1E2)  
> \- The Runaway Bride (2006 Christmas Special)  
> \- The Witch's Familiar (S9E2) [part 2 of 'The Magician's Apprentice']  
> \- Silence in the Library (S4E8) [part 2 = 'Forest of the Dead']  
> \- The Ghost Monument (S11E2)  
> \- Heaven Sent (S9E11) [part 2 of the 'Raven Trilogy']  
> \- Doomsday (S2E13) [part 2 of 'Army of Ghosts']  
> \- Smile (S10E2)  
> \- Rosa (S11E3)  
> And because I'm an idiot, I totally forgot to add in poor Eleven to the mix. I'm sorry, Matt :(
> 
> The song I used was "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic, and you can listen to it here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_nvWreIhg
> 
> I also really like the idea of the Doctor having stars in their eyes/irises, so that's where the title's from.


End file.
